I Can't Believe What I Just Saw!

Just a few minutes ago, at 6:04 p.m. PST, I stepped outside to clean up doggy-doo. (Of course I waited till there was a commercial on during MNF--Go Chargers!) And lo and behold, did my aging eyes deceive me? I saw, and I swear I am not making this up, a father taking his little 3-year-old son for a bike ride on a beautiful autumn eve in the great Pacific Inland Northwest!

During MNF? Seriously? This guy was playing the "father card" over his "man card"? Seriously? Seriously?!

How thoroughly un-American! He probably beats his mom, too! And never buys apple pie either! Yeah! Bastard!

I can't believe this guy is a career Army dude! I can't believe they even let this guy into the armed forces in the first place! Don't they even perform background checks anymore? And if so, what happened to the "do-you-watch-MNF-religiously" question?

He's probably a terrorist commie pinko bastard spy! That's logically the only explanation I can think of for an American male not to be sitting his lard-ass in front of the boob tube in order to play sports-wannabe-armchair-quarterback guy during MNF.

Yep. Probably a terrorist. Or even worse, French! [Shudder.]