There Is No Number 1 in College Football.

On Thursday of this week, the Oregon State Beavers beat the number-one-ranked USC Trojans. I found this to be quite an impossibility before the game, so with that result, after the game, I simply had to decide there is no official number one in college football, for certainly USC had not really lost.

Here's my crystal-clear reasoning:

1. USC lost to Oregon State
2. who had lost to Stanford
3. who had lost to Arizona State
4. who had lost to UNLV
5. who had lost to Utah
6. who are nicknamed the Utes
7. who are a Native American tribe known for using peyote
8. which is a known hallucinogenic
9. which makes people see things that aren't really there
10. which means I didn't actually see USC lose to Oregon State

Follow me on that one? (Anyway, it's pretty clear to me.)

(By the way, did any other completely juvenile mind out there giggle like a little teenager when he heard that on Thursday night the Trojans had been beaten by the Beavers?)