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Recorded on 11-09-2008

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Marching Band and Hazing? When Will the Insanity End?


(Source: rivals.com)

Wisconsin band suspended for hazing

MADISON, Wis. (AP)—The University of Wisconsin marching band has been suspended indefinitely while allegations of hazing, alcohol abuse and sexual misconduct are investigated.

The band won’t play Saturday during a nationally televised football game between the No. 18 Badgers and No. 14 Ohio State at Camp Randall Stadium.

The university made the announcement at a hastily called news conference Friday night, saying the behavior is consistent with conduct that put the band on probation in 2006.

Mike Leckrone, band director since 1969, said he made the decision and it was the first time in his tenure the entire band has ever been suspended and prevented from playing at a game.

So, like, this one time, like, at band camp, I, like, . . . . . .

Seriously, what could marching band members be doing that would constitute as "hazing"? Here are my thoughts:

  • Males actually brushing up (accidentally, mind you) against a female band member's rear end
  • Making the newbies play the theme song to "Gilligan's Island" for 12 straight hours while wearing their silly band hats the whole time
  • Doing keg stands with Starbuck's frappucinos
  • Using their flutes "inappropriately" (e.g., like General Grievous and his 4 light sabers, like King Arthur's knights fighting with their silver swords, like a Dungeons and Dragons grand wizard casting the spells over all of the evil kingdom, and the like.)
  • Getting into the formation of a huge, football-field-sized phallus in front of their 82-year-old, bow-tie-wearing band director
  • Filling all the tubas with Mountain Dew, throwing Baby Ruth candy bars into them, and pretending that their huge toilets
  • Playing the wrong notes . . . on purpose!
  • Dropping their music sheets all at the same time as their band director cries, "Ready!"
  • Teasing the flag girls for being so damn worthless

Shame on you, band geeks! You have tarnished the angelic image of band members everywhere, not to mention the solid musical reputation of the University of Wisconsin Badgers!

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